Saturday, April 27, 2019


And now for something a little more lighthearted... here are more funny things the kids have said :)

  • Audra about JoJo Siwa: "I know why she's real - because she's a kid and not a princess."
  • Audra: "We cannot make driveways out of fruit. The world is not made out of pepperoni." [Truer words have never been spoken]
  • Audra to Josie as we were talking about Josie grabbing an electrical line: "Say sorry to yourself because you would be dead."
  • Josie: "What if we all peed out honey? That would be a dream come true." [This makes me seriously concerned about her dreams]
  • Josie: "Then how did he get turned into a goon? I don't know this life lesson."
  • Audra: "What's gracias in Spanish?"
  • Josie: "It's too exciting for my eyes!"
  • Audra: "I can't hear you, 'cause my eyes were closed."
  • Ryan: "Do you miss your cousin Alex?" Audra: "I do miss apples, even though who is apples?"
  • Audra, immediately upon waking: "We have enough chickens." [NEVER!]
  • Audra, imparting some PreK wisdom: "You can't listen to your mind because your mind is not telling the truth, you have to listen to your heart."
  • Even Audra has her limits: "I love you. I love everybody. Except dangerous people."
  • Audra: "Parrots are daddy birds." [...oh?]
  • Stacey: "What are you going to put in your unicorn purse?" Audra: "Plants and children." [This definitely prompted a nervous laugh from me] 
  • Audra, wearing her helmet inside: "I just ran into the door so that why I have my helmet on - for safety."
  • Audra, whose memory is steadily improving: "Today when I woke up I remembered to be sad."
  • Audra and the neverending battle with sleep: "Fall is when we sleep longer and I don't like fall because we sleep longer - is that right?"
  • Audra: "Tomatoes are my other kind of lunch." [I wish we had asked her to expand upon this thought]
  • Audra: "Every day I don't know what I'm doing." [Same, kid. Same.]
  • Audra: "You don't need to be alive to live." [Indeed]

Saturday, April 6, 2019


So... I went silent on here for a while. Maybe someday I'll finish the post I had started over a year ago about our family vacation in Florida, but for now, I'll be keeping it relatively short and sweet. I still do like having this space to share updates and record memories for the girls, but the crazy long posts aren't working for me anymore. Hopefully I'll figure out some other way to post with some regularity.

In the meantime, for any readers who don't already know, I was diagnosed with Stage 1b breast cancer on 5/8/18. Luckily, I caught it early, but less luckily, it's triple negative, which is one of the most aggressive of the subtypes and also has a higher risk of recurrence, particularly within the first 5 years.

I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy at the end of May, snuck in a trip to London and Munich with Josie end of June / early July, then started chemo mid-July. I then spent a good 2.5 weeks in various hospitals as I was first neutropenic and then managed to have a "fluke" CMV infection on top of it, but once we got that under control, I was back home and back to the chemo schedule in August. Finished all 4 ACs and all 4 Taxols on 11/15/18, started radiation in December, and wrapped up my final boost on 1/18/19.

So now I'm working through recovery, physically and mentally, and despite the somber nature of this post, I'm holding up pretty well, all things considered. Happy to have the support of my family and friends (which was demonstrated so thoroughly over the past year), and that the girls (and Ryan) dealt pretty well with everything so that it hopefully wasn't too traumatizing for them. I've also taken the opportunity to rework my priorities a bit, so my to-do list (yes, including this blog) has been cut down significantly, I'm doing more yoga and meditation and spending more time with the girls, and spending less time working (and commuting, now that I work remotely most of the time).

And now we wait, and still try to live with joy and purpose even though the cancer is never far from my mind. But my (admittedly clunky) mantra throughout this past year is "the only way forward is forward" so that is precisely what I'm doing.